Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize