I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
