I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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