i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
