Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
