she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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