Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
