We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ttyl tear gas
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
