susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I sprained my soul last night
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
