was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
