I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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