Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
