Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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