Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
