Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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