So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
