So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
