woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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