no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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