i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
