My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
