She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
