My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
