so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
