I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
