What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
