she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
