isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
please come you make the beer taste better
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
