I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
