you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am one with the molecules
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
