I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
