You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
