what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
