I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
