I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
