What a fucking waste of an outfit
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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