I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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