i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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