I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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