who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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