But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
