i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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