She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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