You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
