I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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