It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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