Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
