she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
