that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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