all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
