it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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